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Thursday, October 30, 2008
Where Is Johnny Carson When We Need Him?
Gov. Palin is having a profound effect on American culture. If you think sales of eyeglasses are soaring, you ought to see the numbers for home pregnancy kits.
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Geo-Political Humor, Part 2
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Ouch!
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Monday, October 27, 2008
Groan.....
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Sunday, October 26, 2008
Baddah-boom!
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Saturday, October 25, 2008
Proof: Green Is Good For The Economy
Read the complete story
Read the study referenced above.
Labels: create jobs, economy, greeb, save energy
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Baddah-bing!
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Friday, October 24, 2008
Another Small,But Easy, Step
This whole climate-change debacle could be significantly slowed down if the world's 100 largest cities installed white roofs and more-reflective pavement, says a new study to be published in the journal Climatic Change.
By bouncing heat away from the Earth, a 1,000-square-foot white roof offsets 10 metric tons of greenhouse gases. Roofs account for 25 percent of the surface of most cities, and pavement makes up some 35 percent.
This could offset 44 billion metric tons of greenhouse gases - more than is emitted by Earthlings each year.
Global Cooling: Increasing Worldwide Urban Albedos to Offset CO2
Labels: climate change, greenhouse gases, roof
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Today's Rimshot
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Thursday, October 23, 2008
Palin's Secret Plan
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Malapostrophobia
Of course, misspellings and grammatical errors in our small-town News-Fishwrap are so commonplace that reading it has become a bi-weekly cognitive-behavioral therapy for my malapostrophobia.
Speaking of therapy for that.... one of my insights is that it may be rooted in family: I have a brother and a nephew who have PhDs, and a brother-in-law and sister-in-law who have JDs. Apparently command of the intricacies of the language is not considered to be essential in the education of a doctoral candidate.
Late-breaking news: My brother does NOT have a PhD. He has an EdD (Doctor of Education). I'll leave the punchline for you to figure out on your own.
Labels: apostrophe, fingernails on a chalkboard, Grammar, malapostrophobia, spelling
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Thank You, W
- Oil was $27 per barrel.
- Gasoline was $1.46 per gallon.
Labels: Bob Bush, gasoline price, oil, oil price
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008
If I Were A Comedian, I Would Love Sarah Palin
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Borrow-And-Spend Conservatives
-- CBS News, 9/29/08
Don't fall for that Republican crap about how 'liberals' spend too much and tax you to pay for it. As we can see, 'conservatives' spend more, spend faster than 'liberals' do, and don't have a way to pay for it.
Mr. Bush's reckless fiscal policy (or lack of policy) passes the payment for today's spend-spend-spend onto tomorrow's taxpayers. Our children and our children's children will carry Bush's Burden - with compound interest piling on.
Which would you really prefer: a tax-and-spend government or a borrow-and-spend government?
Labels: borrow-and-spend, conservative, national debt, reckless spending
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Rimshot!
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Making It To The Top
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was spotted by a hunter, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
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Monday, October 20, 2008
Yeah!
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Back Then We Truly Loved Our Cars
You're going to see 5 minutes or so of fantastic audio and video. It's family-safe, and probably work-safe [ it loads very fast ]
Labels: 50s, 60s, billy joel, cars, classic cars, rock and roll, we didn't start the fire
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Sunday, October 19, 2008
Groan.....
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Saturday, October 18, 2008
I'm Speechless
This is a real image, not a Photoshop trick.
I'm not making a political statement. I just think the image is hilarious. I'd publish it regardless of who looks silly.... even if it were I.
Not that I'd ever look silly.
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Geo-Political Humor
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Friday, October 17, 2008
We're Number 29! We're Number 29!
It's sad TERRIBLE! but true.
A good measure of a nation's health care systems is infant mortality. When it comes to infant mortality, a bunch of those 'Old Europe' loonie-leftie-socialist countries do much better than we do. Even Cuba -- Commie/Pinko/Castro Loving/Cuba -- does better than we do when it comes to infant mortality - and therefore to health care in general.
Read it and weep:
Infant Mortality Rates and International Rankings: 2004
Centers for Disease Control, National Center for Health StatisticsInfant mortalityAt least we beat the Russian Federation, Bulgaria, and Romania.... and most of the world's under-developed countries.
Rank Country per 1000 live births
1 Singapore 2.0
2 Hong Kong 2.5
3 Japan 2.8
4 Sweden 3.1
5 Norway 3.2
6 Finland 3.3
7 Spain 3.5
8 Czech Republic 3.7
9 France 3.9
10 Portugal 4.0
11 Germany 4.1
11 Greece 4.1
11 Italy 4.1
11 Netherlands 4.1
15 Switzerland 4.2
16 Belgium 4.3
17 Denmark 4.4
18 Austria 4.5
18 Israel 4.5
20 Australia 4.7
21 Ireland 4.9
21 Scotland 4.9
23 England and Wales 5.0
24 Canada 5.3
25 Northern Ireland 5.5
26 New Zealand 5.7
27 Cuba 5.8
28 Hungary 6.6
29 Poland 6.8
29 Slovakia 6.8
29 United States 6.8
32 Puerto Rico 8.1
33 Chile 8.4
34 Costa Rica 9.0
35 Russian Federation 11.5
36 Bulgaria 11.7
37 Romania 16.8
We have the world's best health care professionals, the best equipment, and the best facilities. We have excellent health care for the people who can afford it.
The good news is that a a McCain-Bush style tax break is all we need to have a world-class health care system.... assuming that staying above #38 qualifies as world-class.Wealth-Based Rationing of
essentials like health care
is what makes us #29.
"In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."
-- Jesus of Nazareth ( Matthew 25:40 )
Labels: CDC, infant mortality
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A Lesson In Vocabulary And Grammar
- A noun formed from a verb, ending in -ing, denoting an action or state, for example running.
- A nounificated verb, ending in -ing, denoting an action or state, for example running.
- A noun formed from a verb, ending in -ing, [ constantly truncated by a certain barely-literate candidate for vice-president of the USA ], for example runnin'.
Really - who would make a better international leader:
- a professor of Constitutional Law at a top-tier university
or - a high-school-bitch turned runner-up-would-be-beauty-queen cum1 politician-who-is-more-embarrassingly-out-of-her-league than I would be if I tried out for the Super Bowl Champion team. The same Barbie whose entire political savvy is BSing her way through interviews and spouting talking points that are irrelevant in any context - especially whatever context is current.
Labels: barbie, constitutional law, gerund, Grammar, nounificate, out of her league, palin, Vocabulary
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Thursday, October 16, 2008
Another Lesson In Vocabulary (and Scripture)
1. A group or class of persons or a member of such a group or class, enjoying superior intellectual, social, or economic status:
2. The best or most skilled members of a group: the football team's elite.
Example: The US Navy Seals are best described as The Elite Navy Seals.
The Commander-In-Chief of an ELITE group of our finest warriors: shouldn't s/he also be ELITE? Americans deserve the finest, the most elite of leaders.
In one day of campaigning (10/06/2008), McPalin threw red meat to frightened, angry crowds, and drew out responses (to the mention of Barack Obama) such as "terrorist!" and "kill him!" After candidate's reference to the news media, one person in the lynch mob looked at a (black) media crew member and said "SIT DOWN, BOY!"
No doubt, everyone in those assemblages would call themselves "Christians." Yet, they act like the hordes who demanded that Pontious Pilate execute Jesus of Nazareth.
You heard it here first: John McBush and his by golly, folksy, charming, gosh, gee-wilickers accessory will continue to whip their crowds into ugly frenzies. Then the candidates will 'wash their hands' to exonerate themselves of guilt for their followers' horrific behavior. If the analogy escapes you, check out The Bible, Matthew 27:24
When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it. [ King James Version ]
Shouldn't our leaders bring out the best in us? Or should we settle for someone who brings out our worst?
Labels: george w. mccain, john mc bush, matthew 27, obama, palin, pilate, pontious, wash hands
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Lessons Well Learned
It was in Midland, TX: Jefferson Davis Junior High School.
The only class where he paid attention was "How To Lose A Civil War."
Labels: civil war, George Bush, lesson, school
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Baddah-boom!
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Baddah-bing!
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Dealing With Stress
Tonight after work
- Go to the local pharmacy.
- Find a Johnson and Johnson rectal thermometer (please, no substitutions).
- Purchase this thermometer and take it home.
- When you get home, lock the door, pull the shades, and unplug the phone so you won’t be disturbed during this stressful time.
- Sit down in your favorite, most comfortable chair.
- Open the package.
- Set the rectal thermometer on the side table.
- Take out the paper work and read it very carefully and thoroughly.
- Please note at the bottom of the page - the last paragraph that reads, "Each Johnson and Johnson rectal thermometer has been personally tested and then sanitized for your protection."
- Be DARNED glad you don’t work for Johnson and Johnson in this department.
Labels: rectal, stress, thermometer
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Monday, October 13, 2008
Rimshot!
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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Yeh Hum Naheen
Stay with me on this....
Think
- "I'd like to teach the world to sing..." (ad for Coca-Cola)
- "We are the world..." (group sing-a-long for humanitarian causes)
- Beatles, Boyz 2 Men, New Kids On The Block, Back Street Boys, Menudo, great harmonies, yada-yada-yada
Still with me?
165 million people. How many have Internet access? 10.4%, 17 million Pakistanis [ according to internetworldstats.com ]. So 'splain me this: where does one find the 62 million people who have - online - have pledged support for Yeh Hum Naheen? How many fans of Boy Bands understand Urdu?
Trust me on this: Bin Laden is NOT one of the 62 million.
I know you await with bated breath.... by the way, 'bated' is the correct word and the correct spelling.
Yeh Hum Naheen? If I told you, I'd have to kill you. But these people will tell you, complete with English subtitles: Yeh Hum Naheen. So will these folks: yehhumnaheen.org
Besides bleeding the same color blood as we of God's chosen, those Pakistanis (and the rest of those 62,000,000 supporters) turn out to have the same concerns, the same fears, the same desire for peace, the same distaste for terrorists and terrorism. Hoodathunkit?
Just out of curiosity, how many 7-11s and taxis are there in Pakistan? (snark, snark). Oh, by the way: 'Yeh Hum Naheen' means, in English, 'This is not us'.
This old cynic is profoundly moved.
Labels: muslim, pakistan, terrorist, Yeh Hum Naheen
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Sunday, October 12, 2008
Today's Rimshot
Inspired by Argus Hamilton
Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin
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A Parable For Those Who Would Elect The GOP Ticket
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Barely related moral to a barely related story:
On 9/12/2001 George W. Bush got to the top of the tree because of the perceived needs of the Nation after the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Today he isn't exactly at the top any more. And he has turned out to be quite a turkey.
Labels: Bob Bush, bull crap, cindy mccain, george w. mccain, john mc bush, palin, turkey
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Friday, October 10, 2008
Trains
Labels: barack, biden, george w. mccain, john mc bush, mccain, obama, palin
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Thursday, October 9, 2008
Ouch!
Argus Hamilton (Wednesday, October 8, 2008)
Labels: al queda, dow jones, George Bush, television, tv, wall street
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McCainanites and Music, Redux
The rockers sent out a missive telling the Republican presidential candidate to stop using "My Hero." They said they learned it was being use through news reports.
"The saddest thing about this is that `My Hero' was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential," the band said in a statement. "To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song."
Foo Fighters Fight Back
Those of you who have been paying attention know that McCain continues to fall on his face when it comes to picking let's-try-to-appeal-to-the-boomers music for the campaign.
Here are some superb examples:
- Clueless In The USA
- And The Hits Just Keep Coming
- Republican Head Stuck In Anatomical Orifice
- More Astonishingly Stupid Stealing
Gonna take you
Right into the Danger Zone
Highway to the Danger Zone
Comforting, isn't it?
Labels: danger zone, foo fighters, george w. mccain, john mc bush, mccain, my hero, top gun
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Wednesday, October 8, 2008
He Was Against it Before He Was For It
McCain Rejects Broad U.S. Aid on Mortgages
By LARRY ROHTER and EDMUND L. ANDREWS
SANTA ANA, Calif. Drawing a sharp distinction between himself and the two Democratic presidential candidates, Senator John McCain of Arizona warned Tuesday against vigorous government action to solve the deepening mortgage crisis and the market turmoil it has caused, saying that "it is not the duty of government to bail out and reward those who act irresponsibly, whether they are big banks or small borrowers."
Mr. McCain’s comments came a day after Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York called for direct federal intervention to help affected homeowners, including a $30 billion fund for states and communities to assist those at risk of foreclosure.
Mrs. Clinton’s Democratic opponent, Senator Barack Obama of Illinois, has similarly called for greater federal involvement, including creation of a $10 billion relief package to prevent foreclosures.
As the foreclosure crisis has rippled across the economy, it has thrust itself to the forefront of the presidential race, with Democrats seizing on the issue in urging forceful government steps to alleviate the crisis.
Mr. McCain’s remarks Tuesday, to a group of Hispanic businessmen here, signaled a sharpening divide between the two parties’ candidates, with the senator [McCain] warning against quick, costly government fixes to a crises (sic) rooted in the private sector.
[ ... ]
"It sounds remarkably like Herbert Hoover, and I don’t think that’s good economic policy," Mrs. Clinton told reporters in Greensburg, Pa. "The government has a number of tools at its disposal." "I think that inaction has contributed to the problems we face today, and I believe further inaction would exacerbate those problems."
In addition to urging $30 billion in federal aid to states to help homeowners, Mrs. Clinton on Monday also endorsed federal legislation to expand the government’s ability to guarantee restructured mortgages, which she believes would lead more banks and other private entities to buy and resell mortgages.
Mr. Obama’s plan emphasizes making it easier to convert subprime loans to fixed-rate, 30-year loans, while requiring that borrowers have access to better data on loan costs and requiring greater scrutiny of lenders. On Tuesday, he said, "It’s deeply troubling that John McCain is suggesting that the best way to address the housing crisis is to sit back and watch it happen."
[ ... ]
Mr. McCain spoke at some length about the problems caused by lenders and by Wall Street, which bundled mortgages into securities that were chopped into pieces and resold to investors in the United States and abroad. But he did not call for any kind of legislative or regulatory measures to fix those problems, other than to say that the government should eliminate obstacles to the ability of financial institutions to raise more capital.
[ ... ]
John McCain (McBush): wrong about everything since he learned to pander.
As I said above, He Was Against it Before He Was For It.
Labels: bail out, Clinton, crisis, george w. mccain, john mc bush, mccain, mortgage, obama, private sector, regulation
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When Barbies Attack
"I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear..."
What would have been the right-wing-world's response have been if Barack Obama had copped the same attitude?
The first and kindest epithet hurled at Obama would have been "Uppity Ni**er." It would go downhill from there. "Angry." "Doesn't know his place."
As usual, this nation accepts a double standard: one for cute, perky, folksy airheads, and a diminished standard for everyone else (especially Uppity Ni**ers).
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Tuesday, October 7, 2008
And The Nose Grows And Grows
Lie Count.com
McCain-i-pedia's "Count the Lies"
Politi-fact's "Truth-O-Meter"
Lies to Nowhere
FactCheck.org
mccainslobbyists.com
and in case you thought that the McPalin Liars' Club thought of it first,
935 Lies That Convinced Many Americans To Support A War That No One Really Wanted
"The figures don't lie, but the GOP damn sure does."
"There are lies, damned lies, and anything that most of today's Republicans say."
"This isn't your grandfather's GOP."
"What ever happened to John McCain v.2000.0?"
Labels: fact check, factcheck, george w. mccain, john mc bush, liars.truth-o-meter, lies, mcpalin, to nowhere
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Monday, October 6, 2008
Where Does John McBush Really Stand On Issues?
OK, pick one of the following. No hype, no smear, no lies. Just facts - backed up by citations.
- Economy
- Education
- Energy & Environment
- Foreign Policy
- Health Care
- Homeland Security
- Iraq
- Jobs
- Lobbyists
- Rural Issues
- Seniors & Social Security
- Taxes
- Women
Labels: george w. mccain, issues, john mc bush, mccain
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Sunday, October 5, 2008
How To Debate Like Gov. Palin
Labels: airhead, barbie, debate, in over her head, out of her league, palin
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Saturday, October 4, 2008
Sturmovschina
stür’- müv - shee’ - nüv n. storming a task
Early-Mid 20th-century Russian expression.based on an article in Time (Magazine) December 7, 1992
Westerners often consider Russians to be shiftless and lazy. Their style of work may be puzzling to outsiders. However, it has a logic all its own, rooted in the peasants' seasonal cycle of activities. That cycle is based on the weather, which leads to months of idleness giving way to short but intensive periods of planting and harvesting.
As novelist Leo Tolstoy once explained, "The Russians harness their horses very slowly, but they ride with great speed."
Russian people have little patience for daily chores and fixed schedules. They prefer to get things done in sudden bursts of activity. This style of work became known in the Soviet period as sturmovschina, or 'storming a task.'
Labels: russia, russian, soviet, Sturmovschina, tolstoy
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Friday, October 3, 2008
Wisdom From The Wise & Wealthy
"You can't tell who is swimming naked until the tide goes out."
-- Warren Buffett (not related to Jimmy)
[ The colorfully-speaking Dan Rather couldn't have said it better ]
Labels: buffett, crash-and-burn, financial crisis, Wall St., wall street
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Thursday, October 2, 2008
Cut This Out and Save It
- absurd, addled, anserine, asinine
- beef-witted, beetle-headed, besotted, blockheaded, blockish, bovine, brainless, brutish
- cloddish, comatose, crass, cretinous
- dazed, dense, dimwitted, dizzy, doltish, dopey, dull, dumb, dunceworthy
- fat-witted, fatuous, foolish, footless, foppish
- idiotic, ignorant, imbecilic, imperceptive, inane, inept, insensate, interesting, irrational, irresponsible
- loutish
- meaningless, moronic
- oafish, obtuse
- pointless, prosy, purblind
- senseless, silly, stultifying, stupefied
- thick-witted, thickheaded, torpid
- unintelligent, unwise
- vacuous, vapid
- witless, worthless
- hebetudinous, oscitant, stuporous, torpid
and my favorites:
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Wednesday, October 1, 2008
"I can see Russia from Alaska" - NOT !!!
It turns out that Sarah Palin has never seen Russia from Alaska.
Tuchman went up to the part of Alaska from which you can actually see Russia, a remote island called Little Diomede located just 2.4 miles from it's Russian twin, Big Diomede. Gary Tuchman's trip to Little Diomede sets him apart from Sarah Palin -- because she's never been there nor has she set eyes on its neighbor in Russia.
The Answer to the BIG Question: "(has ) Sarah Palin has ever visited this island?" According to the natives, the answer is "no."
The Answer to the Almost-As-BIG Question: "does proximity to Russia create expertise in foreign policy?" No American mayor resides in a city closer to Russia than Andrew Milligrock, and he says being two miles from Russia doesn’t give him any foreign policy expertise.
http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2008/09/30/you-can-see-russia-from-here/
Gleefully stolen (with a few embellishments) from BuzzFlash - an excellent source of news that is usually overlooked by the so-called Liberal Media1
1 You know the So-Called-Liberal-Media - the "news media" that gave George Bush a free pass on everything from before his appointment by the Supreme Court until 2006, when Americans had their fill of the BuSh BS.
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And The Hits Just Keep Coming
- Stealing. In an attempt to appeal to music-loving middle-aged American voters, they use - without permission - copyrighted music. That is called, in polite circles, theft. So much for hiding behind 'law-abiding' and the 7
th Commandment - Stupidity. Either they steal somewhat blindly, or just don't understand: they repeatedly use (without permission) songs that convey a message opposite of what they think it conveys. Or, in their usual contempt for the American public, they think that we are the ones who are too stupid to notice
- Stubbornness. When confronted with demands to cease and desist using music without permission, they dig in their heels and refuse to stop... until the attorneys' letters start mentioning 'injunction.' Then they flip-flop and stop stealing ... until the next moronic GOPer gets a bright idea... and launches another activity that is illegal, futile, and just plain idiotic.
- Jackson Browne - Running On Empty
- John Mellencamp - Our Country and Pink Houses
- Heart - Barracuda
- Van Halen - Right Now
and the pinnacle, the dumbest of them all - Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA
Labels: 7th commandment, barracuda, Born in the USA, flip-flop, Hagar, Halen, heart, Jackson Browne, mellencamp, moronic, Our Country, Pink Houses, republican, Right Now, Running On Empty, springsteen, theft
Don't forget to visit BlackBox, the best of tech talk (in plain English), and please read/honor the legal stuff in the left-hand pane of this page
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