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Monday, March 23, 2009
twitter
n. a primitive language in which every expression can contain no more than 140 characters (actually it's 140 bytes).
v. (transitive) to 'communicate' in Twitter
Twitter is a derivative of Valley Girl, another primitive language. Both will soon be extinct. The Twitter way of attempting to communicate is as unique as (but less interesting than) the language of Kalahari bushmen. Much of the bushmen's verbal communication consists of clicking sounds. In Twitter, the 'speaker' pretends to 'say' something worthwhile making gestures with the thumbs. The 'listener' reads the thumb gestures using a miniature LCD screen.
Twitter messages range from the banal to the ridiculous. That is to be expected when Twitterers are incapable of having or expressing thoughts longer than 140 characters.
An example of Twitter's inanity happened during a recent speech by the President of the United States, speaking before a joint session of Congress. Several Congressional reps [ mostly with "(R-)" ] after their names, Twittered - instead of paying attention to the President. For example, Rep. Joe Barton (R-Tex.), in whose name this text message was sent at about the time the president spoke of the need to pull the country together: "Aggie basketball game is about to start on espn2 for those of you that aren't going to bother watching pelosi smirk for the next hour."
During that same speech, other (R-)icans twittered to Bobby Jindal, who gave the (R-) response to the President's speech. Some say that Jindal used the Twittered screed to create parts of his speech.That (R-) response was widely panned by pundits, ordinary people, and fellow members of the (R-) party. Some have suggested that Jindal's speech will be the low point (if not the end of) his political career.
Perhaps he should have 'spoken' in Twitter.
To sum it up, Twitter is:
n. a primitive language in which every expression can contain no more than 140 characters (actually it's 140 bytes).
v. (transitive) to 'communicate' in Twitter
Twitter is a derivative of Valley Girl, another primitive language. Both will soon be extinct. The Twitter way of attempting to communicate is as unique as (but less interesting than) the language of Kalahari bushmen. Much of the bushmen's verbal communication consists of clicking sounds. In Twitter, the 'speaker' pretends to 'say' something worthwhile making gestures with the thumbs. The 'listener' reads the thumb gestures using a miniature LCD screen.
Twitter messages range from the banal to the ridiculous. That is to be expected when Twitterers are incapable of having or expressing thoughts longer than 140 characters.
An example of Twitter's inanity happened during a recent speech by the President of the United States, speaking before a joint session of Congress. Several Congressional reps [ mostly with "(R-)" ] after their names, Twittered - instead of paying attention to the President. For example, Rep. Joe Barton (R-Tex.), in whose name this text message was sent at about the time the president spoke of the need to pull the country together: "Aggie basketball game is about to start on espn2 for those of you that aren't going to bother watching pelosi smirk for the next hour."
During that same speech, other (R-)icans twittered to Bobby Jindal, who gave the (R-) response to the President's speech. Some say that Jindal used the Twittered screed to create parts of his speech.That (R-) response was widely panned by pundits, ordinary people, and fellow members of the (R-) party. Some have suggested that Jindal's speech will be the low point (if not the end of) his political career.
Perhaps he should have 'spoken' in Twitter.
To sum it up, Twitter is:
- primitive
- useless
- based on limited thought abilities
- completely lacking in subtlety and nuance
- a basis for communication only between Twits
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