The splash you heard was your cell phone falling into the toilet. The "Oh S$#@#$$%" you heard was you. Let's hope that it was merely an expletive - as opposed to fact, if you get my drift. Please say that you didn't just take my advice from last April.

Now what?

Step one get the battery out of the phone. Fast!

OK, step one is Fish The Phone Out Of The Toilet.

Step two is to minimize the chances of total destruction of the phone's guts: allow no more electricity to run through the phone's sensitive electronics. Get the battery out of the phone. Fast!

Step three is to start shopping for a new phone. Step three is to try to carefully dry out the phone. Worry about the smell later.

There are several ways to dry out the phone. There are also several ways to NOT dry out the phone. One of the most comprehensive articles that I've seen on the subject is at Popular Mechanics: How to Save Your Wet Cellphone

That's where the Zen part comes in. In my mind I always connect Zen and brown rice.