You can't make up stuff this good...

Alaska's Governor Barbie (R-ya betcha) and Senator Ted Stevens (R-pre-sentencing) had quite the time in the last 2 weeks, and the fun is just getting started.

Senator Stevens (R-place where being an 84 year-old felon is not a problem) won re-election. Also, he was convicted on 5 federal charges of corrupt governance. The government did not charge him with being a complete a#%hole.

While a felon can be elected (note: Stevens, always the gentleman, did not vote for himself) to the Senate, the Senate has the power (and some say duty) to expel a Senator. It is likely that if Stevens does not resign, the Senate will give him the retirement that Alaska's voters should have awarded him. Either of those situations would lead to a vacancy in Alaska's Senatorial delegation.

That's where Gov. Winky (R-Neiman Marcus) comes in. She has a say in how the vacancy is filled.

Here is the relevant portion of the Alaska Code:

Sec. 15.40.010. Conditions and time of filling vacancy by appointment and special election.

When a vacancy occurs in the office of United States senator, the governor, at least five days after the date of the vacancy but within 30 days after the date of the vacancy, shall
(1) appoint a qualified person who, if the predecessor in office was nominated by a political party, has been, for the six months before the date of the vacancy, and is, on the date of appointment, a member of the same political party as that which nominated the predecessor in office to fill the vacancy temporarily until the vacancy is filled permanently by election;
and
(2) by proclamation and subject to this chapter, call a special primary election and a special election to fill the vacancy for the remainder of the term of the predecessor in office if the predecessor's term would expire more than 30 calendar months after the date of the vacancy.

US Constitution, 17th Amendment:

When vacancies happen in the representation of any State in the Senate, the executive authority of each State shall issue writs of election to fill such vacancies: Provided That the legislature of any State may empower the executive thereof to make temporary appointments until the people fill the vacancies by election as the legislature may direct.

It sounds like

• Gov. Palin (R-Queen Bitch just ask anyone who got in her way) could appoint herself to be the temporary Senator (R-this is just too wierd)
  or
  
• could resign and have the replacement governor appoint her as the temporary Senator (R-cold enough to freeze one's sensibility).

In either case, she would be a temporary appointee to the US Senate. Then she would have to win the Senate seat in a special election

• as an independent
  or
  
• as some party's nominee

against

• any and all independents
• any and all parties' nominees (from the special primary)

Why is Alaska's law written that way?

The above Alaska law was put in place in 2004, after Alaska's then-Senator Frank Murkowski (R-where the sun don't shine) won the election to be governor, and resigned from the US Senate. Then he appointed his daughter, Lisa, (R-it runs in the family) to be the temporary Senator.

Other notable accomplishments in his term as governor were

• his purchase of the infamous ("I sold it on e-Bay") jet plane
• his escaping indictment for the conspiracy crimes (and convictions) of his chief-of-staff, 2 oil company executives, a real estate developer, several legislators, a sitting US Senator, and a cast of dozens more. See Corrupt_Bastards_Club (I'm not making that up)

His daughter (R-Thin Ice) has not been indicated (yet) in the same corruption investigation. She's involved because she purchased (for 1/3 of market value) some real estate from the above-mentioned developer, and forgot to explain the deal on her federally-mandated Congressional disclosures. Did I mention that she and Senator Stevens (R-Felonland) almost got to build a federally-funded road that went to (what a surprise) that same parcel of land?

Sen-Gov Murkowski's activities were beyond the pale even for [insert your own denigrating adjective] Alaskans. In the 2006 Republican primary, Murkowski took third place, behind a businessman and a former airheaded beauty queen from some backwater town.

For what it's worth, Gov. Palin (R-$150,000+ shopping spree) accepted $28,000 in campaign donations from the above-mentioned oil company.

I have a question: with all those (R- )s in this rogue's gallery, why do Alaskans keep electing them?