What If Steve Jobs Ran A Car Company?

Some people think that Apple's CEO Steve Jobs either
a) should take over one of the Big 3 (GM, Ford, Chrysler)
or
b) be appointed as federal government’s "car czar" overseeing the bailout of the big three automakers.

That's not as goofy as it sounds: consider that Steve Jobs built a wildly successful business from scratch, left the company, came back after the new management ran it into the ground, and made it wildly successful again. Not that GM, Ford, or Chrysler would need someone who could do that....

What kind of car would a Steve Jobs-run car company produce?

• Overpriced and over-hyped.
• Owned by smug Yuppies and wanna-be artists (too bad, Audi, Volvo, and Saab).
• Only runs on Apple brand gasoline from Apple brand gas stations.
• It wouldn't have any Windows.
• Acceleration and braking would be handled with a single pedal.
• Impossible to look under the hood... or at the tires, door handles, trunk.
  
• No danger of being accused of being over-powered...
• Colors? You’d have a choice of: brushed aluminum.
• That stale 30-year old logo might actually look good on a car.
• Steering would be done via touchscreen.
• That stale 30-year old logo might actually look good on a car.
• It would drive slower in Redmond than it would in Cupertino.
• Can't pull a trailer because Apple cars don't network worth a damn.
• Would force you to go where it thinks you should go.
  

And...

• The owners would never admit to having a crash or being stuck in traffic.
• Finally! A car that can't be cloned by Asian car makers.
• The car's owners would blame all vehicular problems on cars with Windows.
• People would wait overnight in blocks-long lines to buy the latest model - even if the latest model isn't a car.
• The Microsoft Auto Company would always be several years late in copying the Apple Car's features.
• Apple Car's (GM's) market share would hover around 6.7% for decades, but they'd still make money.
• Consider the advertising slogan: Keeping Jobs In America!
  
• The company would successfully branch out into making music players and telephones. Oh, wait .... been there, done that.
• The company would give away cars to students, hoping to get them hooked before they find something better.
  

Labels: automobile manufactuers, humor, steve jobs