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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Steve Jobs, Car Czar?

What If Steve Jobs Ran A Car Company?

Some people think that Apple's CEO Steve Jobs either
a) should take over one of the Big 3 (GM, Ford, Chrysler)
or
b) be appointed as federal government’s "car czar" overseeing the bailout of the big three automakers.

That's not as goofy as it sounds: consider that Steve Jobs built a wildly successful business from scratch, left the company, came back after the new management ran it into the ground, and made it wildly successful again. Not that GM, Ford, or Chrysler would need someone who could do that....

What kind of car would a Steve Jobs-run car company produce?

Overpriced and over-hyped.
Owned by smug Yuppies and wanna-be artists (too bad, Audi, Volvo, and Saab).
Only runs on Apple brand gasoline from Apple brand gas stations.
It wouldn't have any Windows.
Acceleration and braking would be handled with a single pedal.
Impossible to look under the hood... or at the tires, door handles, trunk.
No danger of being accused of being over-powered...
Colors? You’d have a choice of: brushed aluminum.
That stale 30-year old logo might actually look good on a car.
Steering would be done via touchscreen.
That stale 30-year old logo might actually look good on a car.
It would drive slower in Redmond than it would in Cupertino.
Can't pull a trailer because Apple cars don't network worth a damn.
Would force you to go where it thinks you should go.

And...

The owners would never admit to having a crash or being stuck in traffic.
Finally! A car that can't be cloned by Asian car makers.
The car's owners would blame all vehicular problems on cars with Windows.
People would wait overnight in blocks-long lines to buy the latest model - even if the latest model isn't a car.
The Microsoft Auto Company would always be several years late in copying the Apple Car's features.
Apple Car's (GM's) market share would hover around 6.7% for decades, but they'd still make money.
Consider the advertising slogan: Keeping Jobs In America!
The company would successfully branch out into making music players and telephones. Oh, wait .... been there, done that.
The company would give away cars to students, hoping to get them hooked before they find something better.

Labels: automobile manufactuers, humor, steve jobs

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 12:13 AM 0 Comments

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Where Is Johnny Carson When We Need Him?

Eyewear designer Kazuo Kawasaki has been besieged by retail orders for the eyeglasses worn by Sarah Palin.

Gov. Palin is having a profound effect on American culture. If you think sales of eyeglasses are soaring, you ought to see the numbers for home pregnancy kits.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:43 AM 0 Comments

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Geo-Political Humor, Part 2

Alaska is an interesting place for women to look for husbands. The men outnumber the women 10 to 1. You could say that the odds are good but the goods are odd.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 12:09 AM 0 Comments

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ouch!

At their Minnesota convention, GOP delegates were overjoyed by Sarah Palin's selection. It fit the party's most pressing need that week. They had to have a candidate with no risk of being arrested in the Minneapolis airport men's room.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 12:08 AM 0 Comments

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Monday, October 27, 2008

Groan.....

For decades John McCain has been known for his trophy wives. Now he's dumped Mitt Romney for a trophy running mate.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 12:06 AM 0 Comments

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Baddah-boom!

Sarah Palin's seventeen-year-old daughter is pregnant and plans to marry the father. It's no surprise. The Palin clan is anti-abortion and pro-gun, which means that shotgun weddings are all they know.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 12:05 AM 0 Comments

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

Baddah-bing!

A Republican victory would ensure cost savings at White House dinners. The ones McCain hosts will be early-diner specials, while the Vice President's dinners will feature something she went out and killed.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 12:03 AM 0 Comments

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Friday, October 24, 2008

Today's Rimshot

President Bush Has said that Sarah Palin's family problems are a private matter. He must be so relieved. Who would have thought a year ago that his biggest failure as president would be his abstinence education program?

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 12:01 AM 0 Comments

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Palin's Secret Plan

Sarah Palin is pro-life. She has a very original way to protect America's borders: defeat illegal immigration by boosting the Republican birth rate above Mexico's.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:58 AM 0 Comments

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

If I Were A Comedian, I Would Love Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin, her husband, her five kids, her pregnant daughter, and the teen father are guarded by the Secret Service despite the family's well-known aversion to using any protection.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 11:56 AM 0 Comments

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Rimshot!

Sarah Palin's husband Todd: her high school love, hard-hat member of the Steelworkers Union, volunteer fireman, and part-Indian. She's married to the Village People... so much for family values.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:51 AM 0 Comments

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Monday, October 20, 2008

Yeah!

After sixteen years, Hillary Clinton's been replaced by a younger, sexier lightning rod.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:54 AM 0 Comments

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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Groan.....

Sarah Palin was a huge hit at the GOP convention. Now comes the real challenge. She has a five-month old baby, a grandchild on the way and a seventy-two-year old running mate. How many diapers a day can one woman be expected to change?

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:51 AM 0 Comments

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Saturday, October 18, 2008

Geo-Political Humor

Sarah Palin has been denounced by Democrats in speeches and interviews. They deny she's qualified to be president and deny her beliefs. As for her claim that she's the governor of America's largest state, consider this: when the ice melts, Alaska won't be any bigger than Rhode Island.

Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:45 AM 0 Comments

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Baddah-boom!

The McCain campaign has been reluctant to allow her to do interviews or make any unscripted appearances. If Tom Brady had been protected like this, he would still be a quarterback.
Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:41 AM 0 Comments

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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Baddah-bing!

Democrats are asking themselves one question: if John McCain really is computer illiterate, how did he end up running with Yahoo?
Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:40 AM 0 Comments

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Monday, October 13, 2008

Rimshot!

Sarah Palin has spelled out her role in a McCain administration. She'll stay busy. She would focus on energy, government reform and helping families with special-needs children, all while standing on the president's oxygen hose.
Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 1:36 AM 0 Comments

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Sunday, October 12, 2008

Today's Rimshot

For decades John McCain has been known for his trophy wives. Now he's dumped Mitt Romney for a trophy running mate.
Inspired by Argus Hamilton

Labels: campaign, humor, mcbush, mccain, McCainanites, palin

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 11:27 AM 0 Comments

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Saturday, July 12, 2008

Warning Label

CAUTION: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS
Alcohol could intensify this effect.
Use caution when operating a car or dangerous machinery
while reading this blog.

Labels: blog, humor, warning label

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 12:01 AM 0 Comments

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Friday, June 13, 2008

Civil War, Presidents, and Ford's Theater

President Bush went to Ford's Theatre last Sunday, where he enjoyed a performance by the great actor Hal Holbrook. It's part of a long tradition. Every Republican president who starts a civil war has to visit Ford's Theatre during the last year of his presidency.
-- Argus Hamilton

Labels: argus hamilton, bush, civil war, humor, joke, last year of presidency

posted by Recovering Republican® © ™ # 2:33 AM 0 Comments

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Steve Jobs, Car Czar?

What If Steve Jobs Ran A Car Company?

What kind of car would a Steve Jobs-run car company produce?

And...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Where Is Johnny Carson When We Need Him?

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Geo-Political Humor, Part 2

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ouch!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Groan.....

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Baddah-boom!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Baddah-bing!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Today's Rimshot

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Palin's Secret Plan

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

If I Were A Comedian, I Would Love Sarah Palin

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Rimshot!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Yeah!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Groan.....

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Geo-Political Humor

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Baddah-boom!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Baddah-bing!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Rimshot!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Today's Rimshot

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Warning Label

Friday, June 13, 2008

Civil War, Presidents, and Ford's Theater

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